There was a time when everybody — at least, everybody who could read — had the patience to read books. It’s only in modern times that we have a sizable proportion of the population who are literate but cannot read a whole book.
Then, go sit on a park bench, and bring a book and nothing else. Believe me, you’ll read it. You’ll sit and fidget and look around and tug your collar for a few minutes. But then you’ll read. And you might just find that you get sucked in.
Phones, internet, social media. Constant change and hyper-stimulus. Before that, there was television, with a camera angle that changes every few seconds. Our attention spans are shredded because of the kind of media we consume.
What are you wearing under your clothes today?
So, if you do not have the attention span to read an entire book, I think it’s appropriate to ask why. Two hundred years ago, a person in a roughly equivalent position to you would have easily been able to sit and read a few hundred pages, no sweat.
If you want to develop the patience to read books, then I suggest you stop using your phone so much. The next time you go to the bathroom, don’t take your phone with you. When you’re doing something not involving your phone, don’t just set your phone down beside you. It’s still calling to you and asking for your attention from that position. Instead, put it away. And I mean away away. In the next room. Put it on silent.
So, what could be shortening your attention span? Personally, I think it’s this:
Hi everybody! I have been looking at posts on narcs and narc abuse on here and if has really helped me out a lot. I am currently struggling with my situation and need some advice/support.
I met a narc last year, everything seemed to good to be true. Love bombing, always texting calling and taking me on dates. Everything changed when someone warned me about him out in public in front of him and who he is. This caused a conflict with us and the love bombing seized.
he would tell me that everything is okay and i can come and talk. He would set a time limit on me and kick me out after that.
he would then text me like everything was fine and we hung out again and after that he completely ghosted me for one week. He came back and texted me a week later laughing about the ghosting and acting like nothing had happened.
he continued to text me ( not like in the beginning) make plans with me, then on the day of the plans he would just ghost me. One day he would act interested the next silence.
i contacted him a month later and he acted like nothing happened. He was on a vacation and sent me a picture of another woman ( someone he allegedly met on the trip) to strike a reaction but i never gave him one. After the trip he came to my place and was extremely rude, accusing me of going on dates with a bunch of men. The next day he accused me of being an alcoholic and that he wanted nothing to do with me but said well maybe we can be "friends" then ghosted me
i assumed at this point it was over and i would never hear from him again. He contacted me on the holiday a month later acting like everything was great. We ended up hanging out a month or so later and when we hung out it went well, i thought things were going in the right direction.
after we hung out.. silence. I would try to text him and if he replied it would be very short then he just stopped replying. He ghosted me for almost three months. I thought he was done this time and of course he popped up again like nothing happened. At this point i was getting sick of if so i questioned him as to why he dissapeared and always does this. Of course he had some sob story about a injury and family member dying of cancer. I felt pity for him and he gave me an apology.. so i took him back stupidly.
things seemed to be going smooth for a couple months, of course until his family member died and his injury got better he never contacted me and was distant. Menawhile, i was there for him during the difficult time for him. He lied to me about the funeral and never wanted to chat. I was chasing him and he would always claim nothing was wrong but when i said i thought he used me when he was down he could not handle it and would always tell me he didnt care and to go away. I would get so upset i would try texting him to work it out he would barelt respond and if he did he would not be nice about it.
we did hang out a couple times after that, he would ignore me after. One day i was like hey i think you are seeing someone else, and i was like well ixam seeing someone so no problem if you are he said " buy bye good luck with your new guy stop contacting me" i was devastated and tried to get into contact with him for weeks then i just gave up and accepted it was over. He ended up contacting me a month later acting like everything was fine. He wanted to go out and have drinks i told him i would. He and i both seemed to have a great time. He ends up ignoring me again. I kept texting him trying to figure out what was wrong. He kept saying everything was fine and i said ok can we hang out again? He said maybe i was like why? He just kept saying maybe …
our last conversation we had… i said what is wrong ? He said nothing is wrong everything is fine. I asked him why he keeps saying maybe. He said " maybe but i dont want to see you right now" i said why? He saix " im just not feeling it, if i wanted to date i would" i said why did you contact me less then a week ago wanting to go out? He said i didnt.. even though he did. So i said should i just move on or what? He said whatever you want to do. So i said that he was really confusing me and asked him if he had anything more to say before i move on? My messages were turning green so i panicked he blocked me and reacted irrationally. I said " omg did you block me? My messages are not going through. Even texted him on my work phone asking what was up. And called him twice ( please dont judge me i know it is pathetic i never was this type of girl before him) so he replied and said " Ok I'll block you now" then immedietly blocked me. He has never blocked me before since I have met him he will just ghost. Is this ths final discard aka " grand finale? Did i just push him too far?
this has upset me so much its hard to even function.
(I’m not blaming you, by the way. It’s not your fault that you live in the twenty-first century. Owning a phone is basically mandatory in developed countries.)
This isn’t just a pointless history lesson. I’m asking this question for a good reason. You are not constitutionally incapable of reading a book. You weren’t born with the inability to sit and consume hundreds of pages. There is something in your environment, or some habituation, that is preventing you from reading a whole book. If you can figure out what it is, then I would be willing to bet that you could increase your attention span by removing it.
